Skip to content
Anyone But England
  • Jim
  • Hamish
  • Shop
Anyone But England
  • Jim
  • Hamish
  • Shop
  • Account

    Anyone But England

    Jim

    Jim is the house hand at Anyone But England. Hamish writes the line under the drawing. Jim draws.

    Every plate has a number. Newest first. Open one for the picture, the line and the caption.

    1. No. 190: The assist claim

      No. 19030 September 2026

      The assist claim

      The graphic went out early. The voters have not even logged on.

      Close No. 190
      No. 190: The assist claim
      30 September 2026

      The graphic went out early. The voters have not even logged on.

      The assist claim

      Olise's assist haul sparks a Ballon d'Or and PR debate. Opinion only, with no official ranking.

      Next
    2. No. 189: Not fit for purpose

      No. 18930 September 2026

      Not fit for purpose

      Not fit for purpose, they say. They want a say, not the crown.

      Close No. 189
      No. 189: Not fit for purpose
      30 September 2026

      Not fit for purpose, they say. They want a say, not the crown.

      Not fit for purpose

      Top European leagues press FIFA's Infantino over governance. They are seeking input. There is no removal vote.

      PreviousNext
    3. No. 188: Two hundred and ten

      No. 18830 September 2026

      Two hundred and ten

      Top of the scoring, and not one scorer took a bow.

      Close No. 188
      No. 188: Two hundred and ten
      30 September 2026

      Top of the scoring, and not one scorer took a bow.

      Two hundred and ten

      La Liga lead Europe's top five leagues for goals so far, on 210.

      PreviousNext
    4. No. 187: One verdict open

      No. 18730 September 2026

      One verdict open

      One finding, a teased sequel, and still no tariff. Cliffhangers, the lot.

      Close No. 187
      No. 187: One verdict open
      30 September 2026

      One finding, a teased sequel, and still no tariff. Cliffhangers, the lot.

      One verdict open

      The City guilty verdict dominates the break as Pedrerol teases a Barcelona Negreira update. No Negreira verdict and no City tariff.

      PreviousNext
    5. No. 186: Back at training

      No. 18630 September 2026

      Back at training

      Back with the cones. The break took it personally.

      Close No. 186
      No. 186: Back at training
      30 September 2026

      Back with the cones. The break took it personally.

      Back at training

      Footballers head back to club training during the international break.

      PreviousNext
    6. No. 185: Forty unbeaten

      No. 18530 September 2026

      Forty unbeaten

      Forty, and the unbeaten run has hired a secretary.

      Close No. 185
      No. 185: Forty unbeaten
      30 September 2026

      Forty, and the unbeaten run has hired a secretary.

      Forty unbeaten

      Spain extend an unbeaten run to 40 with a 4-1 win over Croatia.

      PreviousNext
    7. No. 184: The old Big Four

      No. 18430 September 2026

      The old Big Four

      Nostalgia picks four clubs and leaves the present in the corridor.

      Close No. 184
      No. 184: The old Big Four
      30 September 2026

      Nostalgia picks four clubs and leaves the present in the corridor.

      The old Big Four

      Fans revive the classic Big Four and leave out City and Spurs. Nostalgia only, nothing restored.

      PreviousNext
    8. No. 183: Better without City

      No. 18330 September 2026

      Better without City

      Better without them, say the replies. Nobody actually voted.

      Close No. 183
      No. 183: Better without City
      30 September 2026

      Better without them, say the replies. Nobody actually voted.

      Better without City

      Rival fans say the Premier League would be better without City. An opinion thread, not a poll or a ruling.

      PreviousNext
    9. No. 182: Sixteen days

      No. 18230 September 2026

      Sixteen days

      A fortnight of other people's anthems. Send the league a postcard.

      Close No. 182
      No. 182: Sixteen days
      30 September 2026

      A fortnight of other people's anthems. Send the league a postcard.

      Sixteen days

      Fans tire of the international break, about sixteen days of it.

      PreviousNext
    10. No. 181: Guilty on 114

      No. 18130 September 2026

      Guilty on 114

      Guilty, and the tariff has missed its train.

      Close No. 181
      No. 181: Guilty on 114
      30 September 2026

      Guilty, and the tariff has missed its train.

      Guilty on 114

      An independent commission finds City guilty on 114 of 115 charges. Punishment is pending. No sanction tariff is set.

      PreviousNext
    11. No. 180: Jim White has his say

      No. 18029 September 2026

      Jim White has his say

      One line on the telly. The replies arrived with their own filing cabinet.

      Close No. 180
      No. 180: Jim White has his say
      29 September 2026

      One line on the telly. The replies arrived with their own filing cabinet.

      Jim White has his say

      Jim White has his say. Celtic fans reply by citing Rangers' EBTs. Reaction only, with no legal finding.

      PreviousNext
    12. No. 179: Back in the chair

      No. 17929 September 2026

      Back in the chair

      First press conference of the sequel. They have seen this trailer.

      Close No. 179
      No. 179: Back in the chair
      29 September 2026

      First press conference of the sequel. They have seen this trailer.

      Back in the chair

      Graham Alexander's first Preston press conference after his return.

      PreviousNext
    13. No. 178: The eleven

      No. 17829 September 2026

      The eleven

      No Celtic names in that XI. The easy bit, done in a column.

      Close No. 178
      No. 178: The eleven
      29 September 2026

      No Celtic names in that XI. The easy bit, done in a column.

      The eleven

      Record Sport: no Celtic player in McInnes's Rangers XI. An opinion, not an official team sheet.

      PreviousNext
    14. No. 177: Home or not home

      No. 17729 September 2026

      Home or not home

      The replies are split. Nobody has sent a car.

      Close No. 177
      No. 177: Home or not home
      29 September 2026

      The replies are split. Nobody has sent a car.

      Home or not home

      TEAMtalk: Liverpool fans are split on a Trent return to Anfield. Fan chat only, not a Liverpool bid.

      PreviousNext
    15. No. 176: A warning first

      No. 17629 September 2026

      A warning first

      A warning, not a cap. Suspense, now, from that camp.

      Close No. 176
      No. 176: A warning first
      29 September 2026

      A warning, not a cap. Suspense, now, from that camp.

      A warning first

      talkSPORT: Trent is given an England warning before a possible cap. No call-up is stated as fact.

      PreviousNext
    16. No. 175: Three games

      No. 17529 September 2026

      Three games

      Three games out, and that tie is the one he'll miss. The ban has taste.

      Close No. 175
      No. 175: Three games
      29 September 2026

      Three games out, and that tie is the one he'll miss. The ban has taste.

      Three games

      Ethan Mbappe is banned for three games and misses Arsenal in the Champions League. A three-game ban, nothing beyond it.

      PreviousNext
    17. No. 174: Two views on a medal

      No. 17429 September 2026

      Two views on a medal

      Two old teammates, one imaginary medal. Retirement is noisy.

      Close No. 174
      No. 174: Two views on a medal
      29 September 2026

      Two old teammates, one imaginary medal. Retirement is noisy.

      Two views on a medal

      Rooney disagrees with Rio on a retrospective medal. An argument between former players, not club policy.

      PreviousNext
    18. No. 173: I wouldn't take it

      No. 17329 September 2026

      I wouldn't take it

      He has declined a medal nobody has offered. Speeches are punctual.

      Close No. 173
      No. 173: I wouldn't take it
      29 September 2026

      He has declined a medal nobody has offered. Speeches are punctual.

      I wouldn't take it

      Rooney says he would refuse a 2011/12 medal if City were stripped. Titles have not been stripped.

      PreviousNext
    19. No. 172: Knew in July

      No. 17229 September 2026

      Knew in July

      Knew in July. Everyone else got the autumn reprint.

      Close No. 172
      No. 172: Knew in July
      29 September 2026

      Knew in July. Everyone else got the autumn reprint.

      Knew in July

      ESPN: City knew the charges verdict in July. A timing report, not a new finding.

      PreviousNext
    20. No. 171: The judgement is published

      No. 17129 September 2026

      The judgement is published

      The judgement is out. The tariff is still hiding in drafts.

      Close No. 171
      No. 171: The judgement is published
      29 September 2026

      The judgement is out. The tariff is still hiding in drafts.

      The judgement is published

      The Premier League publishes the City charges judgement. No sanction tariff is set, and no titles are stripped.

      PreviousNext
    21. No. 170: Eight chances

      No. 17028 September 2026

      Eight chances

      A record at that age, and the scoreline was too shy to attend.

      Close No. 170
      No. 170: Eight chances
      28 September 2026

      A record at that age, and the scoreline was too shy to attend.

      Eight chances

      OptaJoe: Signe Gaupset sets a WSL open-play chance record for her age, eight chances at 21 years and 101 days. No match score.

      PreviousNext
    22. No. 169: The video

      No. 16928 September 2026

      The video

      The clip went out. The sign-off, they say, did not.

      Close No. 169
      No. 169: The video
      28 September 2026

      The clip went out. The sign-off, they say, did not.

      The video

      INEOS says Ratcliffe did not clear the Reform UK promo video.

      PreviousNext
    23. No. 168: Not on a pitch

      No. 16828 September 2026

      Not on a pitch

      One player's view of a challenge. The ban list stayed blank.

      Close No. 168
      No. 168: Not on a pitch
      28 September 2026

      One player's view of a challenge. The ban list stayed blank.

      Not on a pitch

      Ødegaard says Bernardo Silva's challenge does not belong on a football pitch. A player's reaction, with no ban and no score.

      PreviousNext
    24. No. 167: Gakpo withdraws

      No. 16728 September 2026

      Gakpo withdraws

      Out of the squad. The return date did not make the flight.

      Close No. 167
      No. 167: Gakpo withdraws
      28 September 2026

      Out of the squad. The return date did not make the flight.

      Gakpo withdraws

      Cody Gakpo withdraws from the Netherlands squad through injury. No diagnosis and no return date.

      PreviousNext
    25. No. 166: Permission to speak

      No. 16628 September 2026

      Permission to speak

      Cleared to talk. The job itself has not spoken.

      Close No. 166
      No. 166: Permission to speak
      28 September 2026

      Cleared to talk. The job itself has not spoken.

      Permission to speak

      Forest Green clear Robbie Savage to talk to Peterborough. Permission to speak is not an appointment.

      PreviousNext
    26. No. 165: The young arrival

      No. 16528 September 2026

      The young arrival

      An academy move, no fee, no fuss. The back page is bereft.

      Close No. 165
      No. 165: The young arrival
      28 September 2026

      An academy move, no fee, no fuss. The back page is bereft.

      The young arrival

      United confirm teenager Isaac Konde from Liverpool for the under-18s. No first-team minutes and no fee.

      PreviousNext
    27. No. 164: Not my concern

      No. 16428 September 2026

      Not my concern

      Not his concern. The argument failed to take the hint.

      Close No. 164
      No. 164: Not my concern
      28 September 2026

      Not his concern. The argument failed to take the hint.

      Not my concern

      Mancini says the City charges are not his concern. A reaction only, with no legal finding.

      PreviousNext
    28. No. 163: The fire sale

      No. 16328 September 2026

      The fire sale

      A fire sale, drawn in the air. No buyer got the sketch.

      Close No. 163
      No. 163: The fire sale
      28 September 2026

      A fire sale, drawn in the air. No buyer got the sketch.

      The fire sale

      Agbonlahor sketches City players who could be sold. Speculation only. No deals and no fees.

      PreviousNext
    29. No. 162: A unique proposal

      No. 16228 September 2026

      A unique proposal

      Nine years of points, proposed on the radio. Proposed is not decided.

      Close No. 162
      No. 162: A unique proposal
      28 September 2026

      Nine years of points, proposed on the radio. Proposed is not decided.

      A unique proposal

      talkSPORT: the Premier League were told to hand City a unique nine-year points deduction. A proposal only. Sanctions are not decided.

      PreviousNext
    30. No. 161: The wage bill

      No. 16128 September 2026

      The wage bill

      A wage bill out on its own, and still no tariff beside it.

      Close No. 161
      No. 161: The wage bill
      28 September 2026

      A wage bill out on its own, and still no tariff beside it.

      The wage bill

      The Athletic: across the nine seasons City were accused of not providing accurate information, they spent £1.943bn on wages, over £100m more than any other English club. Paired with the 114 of 115 finding. No sanctions are set.

      PreviousNext
    31. No. 160: Four reserved rights

      No. 16027 September 2026

      Four reserved rights

      Four hands up. The rest of the league brought popcorn.

      Close No. 160
      No. 160: Four reserved rights
      27 September 2026

      Four hands up. The rest of the league brought popcorn.

      Four reserved rights

      Arsenal, Liverpool, Manchester United and Tottenham have reportedly told City they might claim compensation. Chelsea and 14 others did not. No awards are decided.

      PreviousNext
    32. No. 159: The pilot light

      No. 15927 September 2026

      The pilot light

      Pilot light on, return unlikely. The boiler man is not booked.

      Close No. 159
      No. 159: The pilot light
      27 September 2026

      Pilot light on, return unlikely. The boiler man is not booked.

      The pilot light

      Roy Keane says his management pilot light is still on, but a return is unlikely. He does not name Celtic. No approach, talks or exit is claimed.

      PreviousNext
    33. No. 158: Five-two

      No. 15827 September 2026

      Five-two

      Five past Celtic and three points clear. A lovely week to be in blue.

      Close No. 158
      No. 158: Five-two
      27 September 2026

      Five past Celtic and three points clear. A lovely week to be in blue.

      Five-two

      Rangers Women beat Celtic 5-2 and go top of the SWPL, three points clear after six matches. It is Celtic's first league defeat.

      PreviousNext
    34. No. 157: Best memory

      No. 15727 September 2026

      Best memory

      Best memory, and it's the day he signed. The goals can queue.

      Close No. 157
      No. 157: Best memory
      27 September 2026

      Best memory, and it's the day he signed. The goals can queue.

      Best memory

      In a Viaplay quick-fire, Alexander Isak names his Liverpool signing as his best Premier League memory. A clip, not a new transfer.

      PreviousNext
    35. No. 156: Happy at Como

      No. 15627 September 2026

      Happy at Como

      Happy where he is. The bench job can stay on the brochure.

      Close No. 156
      No. 156: Happy at Como
      27 September 2026

      Happy where he is. The bench job can stay on the brochure.

      Happy at Como

      Jacobo Ramón, 21, is happy at Como and does not want a Real Madrid backup role. Arsenal and Chelsea are reported to be monitoring. Interest only, no transfer.

      PreviousNext
    36. No. 155: Three doors closed

      No. 15527 September 2026

      Three doors closed

      Three doors shut, one of them named. The house stayed where it was.

      Close No. 155
      No. 155: Three doors closed
      27 September 2026

      Three doors shut, one of them named. The house stayed where it was.

      Three doors closed

      TEAMtalk sources say Fermín López rejected three Premier League clubs, including Manchester United, to stay at Barcelona. The other two clubs are not named.

      PreviousNext
    37. No. 154: The scouts are watching

      No. 15427 September 2026

      The scouts are watching

      Two clubs watching, none bidding. Interest is not a bid, pal.

      Close No. 154
      No. 154: The scouts are watching
      27 September 2026

      Two clubs watching, none bidding. Interest is not a bid, pal.

      The scouts are watching

      Arsenal and Tottenham are reported to be tracking Leverkusen's Ibrahim Maza, 20, whose contract runs to 2030. Interest and scouting talk only. No deal.

      PreviousNext
    38. No. 153: A friend at the top

      No. 15327 September 2026

      A friend at the top

      A fine and a ban, via one post. The league did not co-author it.

      Close No. 153
      No. 153: A friend at the top
      27 September 2026

      A fine and a ban, via one post. The league did not co-author it.

      A friend at the top

      Liam Gallagher posted that a high-level contact tipped a fine and a transfer ban even if City's appeal fails. That is his claim, not the Premier League's decision.

      PreviousNext
    39. No. 152: Haaland rumours

      No. 15227 September 2026

      Haaland rumours

      Signed till 2034. The chat has him everywhere except that contract.

      Close No. 152
      No. 152: Haaland rumours
      27 September 2026

      Signed till 2034. The chat has him everywhere except that contract.

      Haaland rumours

      Fans and the rumour mill link Haaland to Barcelona, Arsenal and Real Madrid after the City finding. His contract runs to 2034. No club bid, fee or destination is confirmed.

      PreviousNext
    40. No. 151: The EFL stance

      No. 15127 September 2026

      The EFL stance

      A plan for an expulsion nobody has handed down. Early homework.

      Close No. 151
      No. 151: The EFL stance
      27 September 2026

      A plan for an expulsion nobody has handed down. Early homework.

      The EFL stance

      There is talk of the EFL's stance if City were ever expelled from the Premier League. A panel found City guilty on 114 of 115 charges, sanctions are pending, and the club plans to appeal. No expulsion, relegation or points deduction has happened.

      PreviousNext
    41. No. 150: The ethical champions

      No. 15026 September 2026

      The ethical champions

      Runners-up, crowned by the replies. The open-top bus is imaginary.

      Close No. 150
      No. 150: The ethical champions
      26 September 2026

      Runners-up, crowned by the replies. The open-top bus is imaginary.

      The ethical champions

      After City's 114 of 115 finding, United fans jokingly claim their 2017/18 runners-up side under Mourinho as deserved ethical Premier League champions. No title is reassigned, and no sanctions are set.

      PreviousNext
    42. No. 149: Five withdrawn

      No. 14926 September 2026

      Five withdrawn

      Five crossings-out, two new names, and the world champions still opposite.

      Close No. 149
      No. 149: Five withdrawn
      26 September 2026

      Five crossings-out, two new names, and the world champions still opposite.

      Five withdrawn

      Rice, Palmer, Rashford, Mainoo and Livramento are withdrawn from England's squad through injury before Spain at Wembley. Garner and Gibbs-White are called up. Spain arrive as world champions and Euro 2024 winners.

      PreviousNext
    43. No. 148: The Ballon d'Or pitch

      No. 14826 September 2026

      The Ballon d'Or pitch

      A golden-ball poster, before anyone has kicked it. Voters still have a deadline.

      Close No. 148
      No. 148: The Ballon d'Or pitch
      26 September 2026

      A golden-ball poster, before anyone has kicked it. Voters still have a deadline.

      The Ballon d'Or pitch

      Spanish media frame Spain against England at Wembley as a Yamal against Kane Ballon d'Or battle. Voters can still submit. It is a preview, with no result.

      PreviousNext
    44. No. 147: Ward returns

      No. 14726 September 2026

      Ward returns

      Second spell, same desk. The mug is the first signing.

      Close No. 147
      No. 147: Ward returns
      26 September 2026

      Second spell, same desk. The mug is the first signing.

      Ward returns

      Liverpool appoint Julian Ward sporting director for a second spell, replacing Richard Hughes, who left for Al-Hilal. The report names no targets and no budget.

      PreviousNext
    45. No. 146: Sixty per cent

      No. 14626 September 2026

      Sixty per cent

      Sixty per cent, on a betting slip. Do not tattoo it.

      Close No. 146
      No. 146: Sixty per cent
      26 September 2026

      Sixty per cent, on a betting slip. Do not tattoo it.

      Sixty per cent

      A Kalshi snapshot after the City news: Arsenal about 60 per cent, City about 25, Liverpool about 8, Chelsea about 6, Brighton about 2, United about 2. Market odds only, not a table.

      PreviousNext
    46. No. 145: The chairman responded

      No. 14526 September 2026

      The chairman responded

      The chairman replied. The words themselves missed the edition.

      Close No. 145
      No. 145: The chairman responded
      26 September 2026

      The chairman replied. The words themselves missed the edition.

      The chairman responded

      City chairman Khaldoon Al Mubarak responded to reports on the 115 charges. The report gives none of his words. The club is expected to appeal, and sanctions are not set.

      PreviousNext
    47. No. 144: The lawyers are warming up

      No. 14426 September 2026

      The lawyers are warming up

      Lawyers stretching, before a sanction exists. Keen.

      Close No. 144
      No. 144: The lawyers are warming up
      26 September 2026

      Lawyers stretching, before a sanction exists. Keen.

      The lawyers are warming up

      Premier League clubs are reported to be seeking legal advice on compensation after City were found guilty on the vast majority of 115 charges. No sums and no claimant clubs are confirmed. Sanctions are pending.

      PreviousNext
    48. No. 143: I told you so

      No. 14326 September 2026

      I told you so

      Calls it vindication. The appeal, presumably, will have its own view.

      Close No. 143
      No. 143: I told you so
      26 September 2026

      Calls it vindication. The appeal, presumably, will have its own view.

      I told you so

      Football Leaks whistleblower Rui Pinto calls the reported City verdict a historic decision for English football, and says it vindicates leaking the documents. That is his reaction, not a ruling.

      PreviousNext
    49. No. 142: Loyal at Wembley

      No. 14226 September 2026

      Loyal at Wembley

      The captain calls the appeal before Wembley. Optimism comes with the armband.

      Close No. 142
      No. 142: Loyal at Wembley
      26 September 2026

      The captain calls the appeal before Wembley. Optimism comes with the armband.

      Loyal at Wembley

      Before Spain play England at Wembley, Spain captain Rodri says City will win the legal battle in the end, despite reports of the 114-charge finding. The appeal is pending and sanctions are undecided.

      PreviousNext
    50. No. 141: Not the bookkeeper

      No. 14126 September 2026

      Not the bookkeeper

      Not charged, and not the bookkeeper. The internet wants an asterisk anyway.

      Close No. 141
      No. 141: Not the bookkeeper
      26 September 2026

      Not charged, and not the bookkeeper. The internet wants an asterisk anyway.

      Not the bookkeeper

      An independent commission found City guilty on 114 of 115 Premier League financial charges. The club denies them and will appeal. No sanctions are set. Guardiola is not charged. The row online is Guardiola against Ferguson: critics add an asterisk, defenders say he kept no books.

      PreviousNext
    51. No. 140: They've Beaten Everybody

      No. 14028 September 2026

      They've Beaten Everybody

      Champions o' the world an' Europe. Inside 90 minutes, every bugger bar us. Pin it, pal.

      Close No. 140
      No. 140: They've Beaten Everybody
      28 September 2026

      Champions o' the world an' Europe. Inside 90 minutes, every bugger bar us. Pin it, pal.

      They've Beaten Everybody

      Champions of the world, champions of Europe. And Scotland are still the only side to beat Luis de la Fuente's Spain inside 90 minutes in a competitive game. Hampden, 28 March 2023, 2-0.

      PreviousNext
    52. No. 139: Celtic and Rangers appeal

      No. 13925 September 2026

      Celtic and Rangers appeal

      Both appealing. The one joint ticket they managed to share.

      Close No. 139
      No. 139: Celtic and Rangers appeal
      25 September 2026

      Both appealing. The one joint ticket they managed to share.

      Celtic and Rangers appeal

      Celtic and Rangers appeal closed-door Scottish Cup ties and £100k fines each after disorder at the 8 March quarter-final. Celtic's hearing is on 26 October.

      PreviousNext
    53. No. 138: Aberdeen lose 500 tickets

      No. 13825 September 2026

      Aberdeen lose 500 tickets

      Five hundred tickets lighter. The semi just got roomier, and sterner.

      Close No. 138
      No. 138: Aberdeen lose 500 tickets
      25 September 2026

      Five hundred tickets lighter. The semi just got roomier, and sterner.

      Aberdeen lose 500 tickets

      Aberdeen FC lose 500 of around 17,000 tickets for the Premier Sports Cup semi against Rangers at Hampden on 31 October, after pyro and a pitch incursion at the 12 September quarter-final. CEO Adrian Bevington urges restraint.

      PreviousNext
    54. No. 137: Hürzeler, edited into United

      No. 13725 September 2026

      Hürzeler, edited into United

      Edited into the shirt. The club was not copied in.

      Close No. 137
      No. 137: Hürzeler, edited into United
      25 September 2026

      Edited into the shirt. The club was not copied in.

      Hürzeler, edited into United

      Fans have been editing Hürzeler into a United shirt. Speculation only. No approach, no talks.

      PreviousNext
    55. No. 136: Carrick calls it ridiculous

      No. 13625 September 2026

      Carrick calls it ridiculous

      Ridiculous, he says. The results were not asked to co-sign.

      Close No. 136
      No. 136: Carrick calls it ridiculous
      25 September 2026

      Ridiculous, he says. The results were not asked to co-sign.

      Carrick calls it ridiculous

      Carrick's club deny the sacking rumour, and Carrick calls it ridiculous. One league win in five, and a League Cup exit to Brighton after leading 2-0. Ridiculous is one word for it.

      PreviousNext
    56. No. 135: Havertz off after half an hour

      No. 13525 September 2026

      Havertz off after half an hour

      Every league start, then half an hour and a plane. The break keeps receipts.

      Close No. 135
      No. 135: Havertz off after half an hour
      25 September 2026

      Every league start, then half an hour and a plane. The break keeps receipts.

      Havertz off after half an hour

      Havertz goes off after about 30 minutes of Germany 1-1 Netherlands. Back to Arsenal for assessment, having started every Premier League game.

      PreviousNext
    57. No. 134: Hassan out of Egypt squad

      No. 13425 September 2026

      Hassan out of Egypt squad

      Missing the squad, already called worth the wait. Fine. We'll wait.

      Close No. 134
      No. 134: Hassan out of Egypt squad
      25 September 2026

      Missing the squad, already called worth the wait. Fine. We'll wait.

      Hassan out of Egypt squad

      Celtic's Haissem Hassan, 24, is out of the Egypt squad injured. Coach Hossam Hassan promises intensive treatment and calls him a long-term asset.

      PreviousNext
    58. No. 133: Over £3bn still owed

      No. 13325 September 2026

      Over £3bn still owed

      Three billion, on tick. The window has a credit card.

      Close No. 133
      No. 133: Over £3bn still owed
      25 September 2026

      Three billion, on tick. The window has a credit card.

      Over £3bn still owed

      Premier League clubs owe over £3bn in transfer instalments. United about £375m, Chelsea about £356.5m, Spurs about £304.6m. UEFA's Traverso calls the model fragile if the market slows.

      PreviousNext
    59. No. 132: Four leagues take on FIFA

      No. 13225 September 2026

      Four leagues take on FIFA

      Four leagues, one letter, and a request that the toys be shared.

      Close No. 132
      No. 132: Four leagues take on FIFA
      25 September 2026

      Four leagues, one letter, and a request that the toys be shared.

      Four leagues take on FIFA

      The Premier League, La Liga, Bundesliga and Serie A demand a FIFA governance overhaul: a say on the calendar, evidence-based proposals, the regulator split from the commercial side, and a Governance Convention within 100 days of the next president.

      PreviousNext
    60. No. 131: United fans claim 1999

      No. 13125 September 2026

      United fans claim 1999

      1999, dusted off as the pure one. No engraver has been booked.

      Close No. 131
      No. 131: United fans claim 1999
      25 September 2026

      1999, dusted off as the pure one. No engraver has been booked.

      United fans claim 1999

      United fans claim 1999, Premier League, FA Cup and the Champions League against Bayern, as the only untainted English Treble. A fan argument. No trophies are changing hands.

      PreviousNext
    61. No. 130: City guilty on 114 of 115

      No. 13025 September 2026

      City guilty on 114 of 115

      Cleared on one. The other 114 will not be sending flowers.

      Close No. 130
      No. 130: City guilty on 114 of 115
      25 September 2026

      Cleared on one. The other 114 will not be sending flowers.

      City guilty on 114 of 115

      City found guilty on 114 of 115 Premier League financial charges covering 2009 to 2018, cleared on one. The club denies them and will appeal. Sanctions are not yet decided.

      PreviousNext
    62. No. 129: Semenyo up for September award

      No. 12924 September 2026

      Semenyo up for September award

      Nominated. The trophy is in the other room, unbothered.

      Close No. 129
      No. 129: Semenyo up for September award
      24 September 2026

      Nominated. The trophy is in the other room, unbothered.

      Semenyo up for September award

      Semenyo is nominated for September Player of the Month, alongside Isak and Gross. A nomination, nothing more yet.

      PreviousNext
    63. No. 128: Bradford let Alexander talk

      No. 12824 September 2026

      Bradford let Alexander talk

      Talking to his old club again. The long contract can wait outside.

      Close No. 128
      No. 128: Bradford let Alexander talk
      24 September 2026

      Talking to his old club again. The long contract can wait outside.

      Bradford let Alexander talk

      Heckingbottom is gone, and Bradford let Alexander talk to Preston. He is ex-Preston, and under contract to 2028.

      PreviousNext
    64. No. 127: Hateley wants a loan teenager

      No. 12724 September 2026

      Hateley wants a loan teenager

      Free shopping advice. The fee, when it comes, will charge.

      Close No. 127
      No. 127: Hateley wants a loan teenager
      24 September 2026

      Free shopping advice. The fee, when it comes, will charge.

      Hateley wants a loan teenager

      Hateley urges Rangers to sign a Premier League teenager on loan. Shopping advice, free of charge.

      PreviousNext
    65. No. 126: A new role for Jack Ross

      No. 12624 September 2026

      A new role for Jack Ross

      From Scotland to the Premier League. The old boss network never sleeps.

      Close No. 126
      No. 126: A new role for Jack Ross
      24 September 2026

      From Scotland to the Premier League. The old boss network never sleeps.

      A new role for Jack Ross

      Jack Ross lands a Premier League role, working under a former Rangers chief.

      PreviousNext
    66. No. 125: Rangers fan faces jail

      No. 12524 September 2026

      Rangers fan faces jail

      An invitation onto the pitch. The sheriff has answered.

      Close No. 125
      No. 125: Rangers fan faces jail
      24 September 2026

      An invitation onto the pitch. The sheriff has answered.

      Rangers fan faces jail

      A Rangers fan faces jail for urging a mass pitch invasion. Keep off the pitch means keep off the pitch.

      PreviousNext
    67. No. 124: The board backs O'Neill

      No. 12424 September 2026

      The board backs O'Neill

      Backing, for now. In Glasgow, for now is a weather system.

      Close No. 124
      No. 124: The board backs O'Neill
      24 September 2026

      Backing, for now. In Glasgow, for now is a weather system.

      The board backs O'Neill

      Two Old Firm defeats, and O'Neill has questioned his own future. He keeps board backing from CEO Michael Nicholson. For now.

      PreviousNext
    68. No. 123: McCoist turns 64

      No. 12324 September 2026

      McCoist turns 64

      Sixty-four. The medal drawer needs its own postcode.

      Close No. 123
      No. 123: McCoist turns 64
      24 September 2026

      Sixty-four. The medal drawer needs its own postcode.

      McCoist turns 64

      McCoist turns 64. 355 goals in 581 games, 10 titles, 9 League Cups, a Scottish Cup and 61 caps. Not a bad shift.

      PreviousNext
    69. No. 122: McBurnie eternally grateful

      No. 12224 September 2026

      McBurnie eternally grateful

      Eternally grateful. Eternity can start with the next list.

      Close No. 122
      No. 122: McBurnie eternally grateful
      24 September 2026

      Eternally grateful. Eternity can start with the next list.

      McBurnie eternally grateful

      McBurnie says he is "eternally grateful" for his recall. Gratitude noted.

      PreviousNext
    70. No. 121: Curtis and Wilson to the Under-21s

      No. 12124 September 2026

      Curtis and Wilson to the Under-21s

      Sent down for a night at Rugby Park. The seniors can cope.

      Close No. 121
      No. 121: Curtis and Wilson to the Under-21s
      24 September 2026

      Sent down for a night at Rugby Park. The seniors can cope.

      Curtis and Wilson to the Under-21s

      Curtis, 20, and Wilson, 19, are released to Docherty's Under-21s for Azerbaijan at Rugby Park on 30 September.

      PreviousNext
    71. No. 120: Hibs appoint Reedijk

      No. 12024 September 2026

      Hibs appoint Reedijk

      Unbeaten on the way up abroad. Easter Road has read the brochure.

      Close No. 120
      No. 120: Hibs appoint Reedijk
      24 September 2026

      Unbeaten on the way up abroad. Easter Road has read the brochure.

      Hibs appoint Reedijk

      Hibs appoint Dutchman Reedijk on a three-year deal to replace David Gray, with Molhoek as assistant. He won promotion unbeaten with SK Beveren. First up, Dundee United on 10 October.

      PreviousNext
    72. No. 119: Players Cup starts short-handed

      No. 11923 September 2026

      Players Cup starts short-handed

      The holders sent apologies. The cup began without them, in Leigh.

      Close No. 119
      No. 119: Players Cup starts short-handed
      23 September 2026

      The holders sent apologies. The cup began without them, in Leigh.

      Players Cup starts short-handed

      The Players Cup starts with holders Chelsea, Arsenal and City all absent. United v Sheffield United at Leigh Sports Village gets it going.

      PreviousNext
    73. No. 118: Brobbey's hat-trick, City win 5-3

      No. 11823 September 2026

      Brobbey's hat-trick, City win 5-3

      Three for him, five for them. A very educational evening.

      Close No. 118
      No. 118: Brobbey's hat-trick, City win 5-3
      23 September 2026

      Three for him, five for them. A very educational evening.

      Brobbey's hat-trick, City win 5-3

      City 5-3 Sunderland. Brobbey scores a hat-trick and still ends up on the losing side. Three goals, no points.

      PreviousNext
    74. No. 117: Fulham 1-1 United

      No. 11723 September 2026

      Fulham 1-1 United

      A draw, and the pundit reached for absolutely pathetic. Vocal, that.

      Close No. 117
      No. 117: Fulham 1-1 United
      23 September 2026

      A draw, and the pundit reached for absolutely pathetic. Vocal, that.

      Fulham 1-1 United

      Fulham 1-1 United. Neville's verdict: "worst 15 minutes… absolutely pathetic". Strong words for a draw.

      PreviousNext
    75. No. 116: Spurs' worst start yet

      No. 11623 September 2026

      Spurs' worst start yet

      Worst start on record, and the debrief was left for another day.

      Close No. 116
      No. 116: Spurs' worst start yet
      23 September 2026

      Worst start on record, and the debrief was left for another day.

      Spurs' worst start yet

      Spurs 2-3 Villa, and the worst Premier League start in the club's history. De Zerbi: "I didn't speak with the players today."

      PreviousNext
    76. No. 115: Brentford 3-0 Chelsea

      No. 11523 September 2026

      Brentford 3-0 Chelsea

      Not how to compete, he says. The other lot had published the manual.

      Close No. 115
      No. 115: Brentford 3-0 Chelsea
      23 September 2026

      Not how to compete, he says. The other lot had published the manual.

      Brentford 3-0 Chelsea

      Brentford 3-0 Chelsea. Alonso: "This is not how to compete in the Premier League." Noted.

      PreviousNext
    77. No. 114: Brighton end Arsenal's run

      No. 11423 September 2026

      Brighton end Arsenal's run

      Seven wins, then extremely poor. That ground does not do soft landings.

      Close No. 114
      No. 114: Brighton end Arsenal's run
      23 September 2026

      Seven wins, then extremely poor. That ground does not do soft landings.

      Brighton end Arsenal's run

      Brighton 3-0 Arsenal ends a seven-game winning run. Arteta's verdict: "extremely poor technically". Hard to disagree.

      PreviousNext
    78. No. 113: England v Spain, six recalls

      No. 11323 September 2026

      England v Spain, six recalls

      Six pulled back for one night. The sheet has trust issues.

      Close No. 113
      No. 113: England v Spain, six recalls
      23 September 2026

      Six pulled back for one night. The sheet has trust issues.

      England v Spain, six recalls

      England v Spain at Wembley on 26 September, with six players recalled for it.

      PreviousNext
    79. No. 112: England lose five before Spain

      No. 11223 September 2026

      England lose five before Spain

      Spain are coming. England are still taking the register.

      Close No. 112
      No. 112: England lose five before Spain
      23 September 2026

      Spain are coming. England are still taking the register.

      England lose five before Spain

      England lose five before Spain. Gibbs-White and Garner come in. We'll try to cope.

      PreviousNext
    80. No. 111: Pocognoli's first Scotland squad

      No. 11123 September 2026

      Pocognoli's first Scotland squad

      Five new shirts, tags still on. The pegs look nervous.

      Close No. 111
      No. 111: Pocognoli's first Scotland squad
      23 September 2026

      Five new shirts, tags still on. The pegs look nervous.

      Pocognoli's first Scotland squad

      Pocognoli names his first Scotland squad. 24 players, five of them uncapped. Five new shirts on the peg.

      PreviousNext
    81. No. 110: Rangers win at Celtic Park

      No. 11023 September 2026

      Rangers win at Celtic Park

      He reached for the phrase. Parkhead did not offer a rebuttal.

      Close No. 110
      No. 110: Rangers win at Celtic Park
      23 September 2026

      He reached for the phrase. Parkhead did not offer a rebuttal.

      Rangers win at Celtic Park

      Rangers win 1-0 at Celtic Park. Boyd calls it "men against boys". No more needs said.

      PreviousNext
    82. No. 109: Who holds a league hostage?

      No. 10922 September 2026

      Who holds a league hostage?

      Every fan in the country has a name ready. None of them agree.

      Close No. 109
      No. 109: Who holds a league hostage?
      22 September 2026

      Every fan in the country has a name ready. None of them agree.

      Who holds a league hostage?

      Who holds a league hostage? Who rules the roost? Answers on a postcard.

      PreviousNext
    83. No. 108: UEFA's 13 seconds of MSN

      No. 10822 September 2026

      UEFA's 13 seconds of MSN

      A treble, cut to thirteen seconds. The poetry budget was that.

      Close No. 108
      No. 108: UEFA's 13 seconds of MSN
      22 September 2026

      A treble, cut to thirteen seconds. The poetry budget was that.

      UEFA's 13 seconds of MSN

      UEFA mark the MSN years with a 13-second clip. Thirteen seconds for the 2015 treble. Generous.

      PreviousNext
    84. No. 107: Chelsea concede a league-high 12

      No. 10722 September 2026

      Chelsea concede a league-high 12

      Most in the net. The new era is generous, accidentally.

      Close No. 107
      No. 107: Chelsea concede a league-high 12
      22 September 2026

      Most in the net. The new era is generous, accidentally.

      Chelsea concede a league-high 12

      Chelsea under Alonso have conceded 12, the most in the league. Twelve in the net. Not ideal.

      PreviousNext
    85. No. 106: Liverpool's 18 call-ups

      No. 10622 September 2026

      Liverpool's 18 call-ups

      Eighteen on a flight. The goalkeeper gets the sofa.

      Close No. 106
      No. 106: Liverpool's 18 call-ups
      22 September 2026

      Eighteen on a flight. The goalkeeper gets the sofa.

      Liverpool's 18 call-ups

      Liverpool wish their 18 international call-ups luck. Eighteen away, and Alisson gets a rest.

      PreviousNext
    86. No. 105: Bruno's 31 points

      No. 10522 September 2026

      Bruno's 31 points

      The fantasy laptop is delighted. The real table has left.

      Close No. 105
      No. 105: Bruno's 31 points
      22 September 2026

      The fantasy laptop is delighted. The real table has left.

      Bruno's 31 points

      Bruno Fernandes has 31 FPL points over five gameweeks, while United make their joint-worst five-game start. Good for the fantasy managers, anyway.

      PreviousNext
    87. No. 104: Bernardo Silva joins Real Madrid

      No. 10422 September 2026

      Bernardo Silva joins Real Madrid

      Not a penny, if you can say that with a straight face.

      Close No. 104
      No. 104: Bernardo Silva joins Real Madrid
      22 September 2026

      Not a penny, if you can say that with a straight face.

      Bernardo Silva joins Real Madrid

      Bernardo Silva leaves City on a free and signs for Real Madrid. Not a penny changes hands.

      PreviousNext
    88. No. 103: Hürzeler extended to 2029

      No. 10322 September 2026

      Hürzeler extended to 2029

      Beat the big six, then got the years. Correct order.

      Close No. 103
      No. 103: Hürzeler extended to 2029
      22 September 2026

      Beat the big six, then got the years. Correct order.

      Hürzeler extended to 2029

      Hürzeler's Brighton have beaten the big six, and he is extended to 2029. The giant-killer stays put.

      PreviousNext
    89. No. 102: A 22-year drought

      No. 10222 September 2026

      A 22-year drought

      Twenty-two years waiting, and they couldn't wait till May.

      Close No. 102
      No. 102: A 22-year drought
      22 September 2026

      Twenty-two years waiting, and they couldn't wait till May.

      A 22-year drought

      A 22-year drought, declared over with a game to spare. In September. Somebody got the bunting out early.

      PreviousNext
    90. No. 101: Mac Allister loves Anfield

      No. 10122 September 2026

      Mac Allister loves Anfield

      Loves the place. The small print is still in the post.

      Close No. 101
      No. 101: Mac Allister loves Anfield
      22 September 2026

      Loves the place. The small print is still in the post.

      Mac Allister loves Anfield

      Mac Allister says he loves Anfield. Nothing is decided yet.

      PreviousNext
    91. No. 100: Arteta nearing a long deal

      No. 10022 September 2026

      Arteta nearing a long deal

      Long-term, nearly. The contract is lapping the boardroom.

      Close No. 100
      No. 100: Arteta nearing a long deal
      22 September 2026

      Long-term, nearly. The contract is lapping the boardroom.

      Arteta nearing a long deal

      Arteta is nearing a long-term deal. In for the long haul, by the look of it.

      PreviousNext
    92. No. 099: November TV reshuffle

      No. 09921 September 2026

      November TV reshuffle

      Kick-off, moved for telly. The fans can reschedule their tea.

      Close No. 099
      No. 099: November TV reshuffle
      21 September 2026

      Kick-off, moved for telly. The fans can reschedule their tea.

      November TV reshuffle

      English football's November kick-offs are moved for TV. The fixture list bends to the cameras again.

      PreviousNext
    93. No. 098: Merson: no way for City

      No. 09821 September 2026

      Merson: no way for City

      No way, says the pundit. Stick it on the fridge till May.

      Close No. 098
      No. 098: Merson: no way for City
      21 September 2026

      No way, says the pundit. Stick it on the fridge till May.

      Merson: no way for City

      Paul Merson says there is no way City lift the trophy this season. Bold call, Merse.

      PreviousNext
    94. No. 097: Rice reaches 300 starts

      No. 09721 September 2026

      Rice reaches 300 starts

      Three hundred starts. Some collect caps. He collects Tuesdays.

      Close No. 097
      No. 097: Rice reaches 300 starts
      21 September 2026

      Three hundred starts. Some collect caps. He collects Tuesdays.

      Rice reaches 300 starts

      Declan Rice reaches 300 Premier League starts, the third-youngest to do it. Durable, you have to give him that.

      PreviousNext
    95. No. 096: Mourinho: calm, there's time

      No. 09621 September 2026

      Mourinho: calm, there's time

      Leave him in peace. Peace has a short lease in that room.

      Close No. 096
      No. 096: Mourinho: calm, there's time
      21 September 2026

      Leave him in peace. Peace has a short lease in that room.

      Mourinho: calm, there's time

      Mourinho asks to be left in peace. Calm, he says, there's time. Whether anyone listens is another matter.

      PreviousNext
    96. No. 095: A first since Benteke

      No. 09521 September 2026

      A first since Benteke

      Three goals and a history lesson. Points sold separately.

      Close No. 095
      No. 095: A first since Benteke
      21 September 2026

      Three goals and a history lesson. Points sold separately.

      A first since Benteke

      Brobbey's hat-trick in a 5-3 defeat at City sends the statisticians back through the archive.

      PreviousNext
    97. No. 094: Shearer: Brighton were the best team

      No. 09421 September 2026

      Shearer: Brighton were the best team

      High praise from Newcastle's finest. Brighton will frame it.

      Close No. 094
      No. 094: Shearer: Brighton were the best team
      21 September 2026

      High praise from Newcastle's finest. Brighton will frame it.

      Shearer: Brighton were the best team

      Shearer's verdict: "Brighton were the best team."

      PreviousNext
    98. No. 093: Champions fall at the Amex

      No. 09321 September 2026

      Champions fall at the Amex

      Champions there, again. At some point it is just a habit.

      Close No. 093
      No. 093: Champions fall at the Amex
      21 September 2026

      Champions there, again. At some point it is just a habit.

      Champions fall at the Amex

      Brighton beat the reigning champions at the Amex. Third season running the champions have lost there. Tradition is tradition.

      PreviousNext
    99. No. 092: Gibbs-White in for Palmer

      No. 09221 September 2026

      Gibbs-White in for Palmer

      One steps aside. The replacement desk never clocks off.

      Close No. 092
      No. 092: Gibbs-White in for Palmer
      21 September 2026

      One steps aside. The replacement desk never clocks off.

      Gibbs-White in for Palmer

      Gibbs-White is poised to replace Palmer in Tuchel's squad. England reach for the replacement.

      PreviousNext
    100. No. 091: Five out for England

      No. 09121 September 2026

      Five out for England

      Five holes in the squad sheet. Preparation, England-style.

      Close No. 091
      No. 091: Five out for England
      21 September 2026

      Five holes in the squad sheet. Preparation, England-style.

      Five out for England

      Five ruled out of England's Nations League squad. Five names struck off the list. We'll try to cope.

      PreviousNext
    101. No. 090: Palmer out of England squad

      No. 09021 September 2026

      Palmer out of England squad

      One creator fewer. England will call the coping a plan.

      Close No. 090
      No. 090: Palmer out of England squad
      21 September 2026

      One creator fewer. England will call the coping a plan.

      Palmer out of England squad

      Cole Palmer withdraws from the England squad with a small muscle injury. Shame, that.

      PreviousNext
    102. No. 089: Dembélé and Kvara, after you

      No. 08920 September 2026

      Dembélé and Kvara, after you

      After you. No, after you. The golden ball is mortified.

      Close No. 089
      No. 089: Dembélé and Kvara, after you
      20 September 2026

      After you. No, after you. The golden ball is mortified.

      Dembélé and Kvara, after you

      Dembélé and Kvaratskhelia each want the other to win the Ballon d'Or. Dembélé blushes.

      PreviousNext
    103. No. 088: Carrick let down upstairs

      No. 08820 September 2026

      Carrick let down upstairs

      The problem has a better office than the manager. Awkward.

      Close No. 088
      No. 088: Carrick let down upstairs
      20 September 2026

      The problem has a better office than the manager. Awkward.

      Carrick let down upstairs

      Dominic King says Carrick has been let down by the people above him. The problem is upstairs.

      PreviousNext
    104. No. 087: Spurs don't keep clean sheets

      No. 08720 September 2026

      Spurs don't keep clean sheets

      No clean sheets. The Sunday sofa did not need a long meeting.

      Close No. 087
      No. 087: Spurs don't keep clean sheets
      20 September 2026

      No clean sheets. The Sunday sofa did not need a long meeting.

      Spurs don't keep clean sheets

      The Sunday Supplement verdict: Spurs don't keep clean sheets. No argument from the room.

      PreviousNext
    105. No. 086: Flick on Raphinha: yes

      No. 08620 September 2026

      Flick on Raphinha: yes

      Yes, then best, then captain. The doubts missed the team bus.

      Close No. 086
      No. 086: Flick on Raphinha: yes
      20 September 2026

      Yes, then best, then captain. The doubts missed the team bus.

      Flick on Raphinha: yes

      Flick on Raphinha: yes. Happy with him, the best decision, the best captain. Not much room for doubt.

      PreviousNext
    106. No. 085: Laporta plans Messi tribute

      No. 08520 September 2026

      Laporta plans Messi tribute

      Hoped for by 2028. Hoped is carrying the whole sentence.

      Close No. 085
      No. 085: Laporta plans Messi tribute
      20 September 2026

      Hoped for by 2028. Hoped is carrying the whole sentence.

      Laporta plans Messi tribute

      Laporta plans a Messi tribute once Spotify Camp Nou is finished. Hoped for by the start of 2028. Hoped.

      PreviousNext
    107. No. 084: McInnes, two from two

      No. 08420 September 2026

      McInnes, two from two

      Souness had that feat alone since 1986. Company, at last.

      Close No. 084
      No. 084: McInnes, two from two
      20 September 2026

      Souness had that feat alone since 1986. Company, at last.

      McInnes, two from two

      McInnes wins his first two Old Firm derbies. Only Souness, in 1986, did it before him.

      PreviousNext
    108. No. 083: Brobbey's hat-trick, still lost

      No. 08320 September 2026

      Brobbey's hat-trick, still lost

      Three goals, no points, and 2007 on the phone.

      Close No. 083
      No. 083: Brobbey's hat-trick, still lost
      20 September 2026

      Three goals, no points, and 2007 on the phone.

      Brobbey's hat-trick, still lost

      Brobbey scores a hat-trick against City and ends up on the losing side. The first since Roque Santa Cruz, Blackburn v Wigan, December 2007.

      PreviousNext
    109. No. 082: City's eight-goal thriller

      No. 08220 September 2026

      City's eight-goal thriller

      Five in a row, eight on the board. Subtlety sent its apologies.

      Close No. 082
      No. 082: City's eight-goal thriller
      20 September 2026

      Five in a row, eight on the board. Subtlety sent its apologies.

      City's eight-goal thriller

      Eight goals and another City win. That is five league wins in a row.

      PreviousNext
    110. No. 081: Isak wins it for Liverpool

      No. 08120 September 2026

      Isak wins it for Liverpool

      One touch that mattered. The rest of the afternoon can be forgotten.

      Close No. 081
      No. 081: Isak wins it for Liverpool
      20 September 2026

      One touch that mattered. The rest of the afternoon can be forgotten.

      Isak wins it for Liverpool

      Isak wins it for Liverpool, and he is the difference.

      PreviousNext
    111. No. 080: City's crazy win

      No. 08020 September 2026

      City's crazy win

      Won it madly. The only row left is the handshake.

      Close No. 080
      No. 080: City's crazy win
      20 September 2026

      Won it madly. The only row left is the handshake.

      City's crazy win

      City's crazy win over Sunderland leaves one argument running: who was man of the match?

      PreviousNext
    112. No. 079: Kompany on Olise

      No. 07919 September 2026

      Kompany on Olise

      Easy to work with, and good. Everyone else's problem, then.

      Close No. 079
      No. 079: Kompany on Olise
      19 September 2026

      Easy to work with, and good. Everyone else's problem, then.

      Kompany on Olise

      Kompany on Michael Olise: the whole package impressed him. The person, the play, and easy to work with.

      PreviousNext
    113. No. 078: Boyd on Carrick's United

      No. 07819 September 2026

      Boyd on Carrick's United

      Living off the museum. The museum does not mark wingers.

      Close No. 078
      No. 078: Boyd on Carrick's United
      19 September 2026

      Living off the museum. The museum does not mark wingers.

      Boyd on Carrick's United

      A Scottish voice says it on Sky. Kris Boyd looks at Carrick's Manchester United and sees a club living off its history.

      PreviousNext
    114. No. 077: Raya from distance

      No. 07719 September 2026

      Raya from distance

      From downtown, often enough that the numbers lads brought a percentage.

      Close No. 077
      No. 077: Raya from distance
      19 September 2026

      From downtown, often enough that the numbers lads brought a percentage.

      Raya from distance

      OptaJoe on David Raya: 20.6% of the Premier League goals he has conceded came from outside the box, 33 of 160. Only Segers is worse, at 22%, 36 of 164.

      PreviousNext
    115. No. 076: Mbappé: just the beginning

      No. 07619 September 2026

      Mbappé: just the beginning

      Good for them, in September. May keeps a diary too.

      Close No. 076
      No. 076: Mbappé: just the beginning
      19 September 2026

      Good for them, in September. May keeps a diary too.

      Mbappé: just the beginning

      Mbappé on Barcelona's strong start: good for them, it is just the beginning. September is not a season.

      PreviousNext
    116. No. 075: Álvarez fit for the derby

      No. 07519 September 2026

      Álvarez fit for the derby

      Available, yes. The teamsheet can sweat until the tunnel.

      Close No. 075
      No. 075: Álvarez fit for the derby
      19 September 2026

      Available, yes. The teamsheet can sweat until the tunnel.

      Álvarez fit for the derby

      Simeone confirms Julián Álvarez is available for the Madrid derby. Start or sub, he will decide later.

      PreviousNext
    117. No. 074: Mourinho on Real Madrid

      No. 07419 September 2026

      Mourinho on Real Madrid

      A lecture for Madrid, delivered with the brake left off.

      Close No. 074
      No. 074: Mourinho on Real Madrid
      19 September 2026

      A lecture for Madrid, delivered with the brake left off.

      Mourinho on Real Madrid

      Mourinho on Real Madrid: it cannot compare itself, and it is hard to hear anything positive. He answers to nobody.

      PreviousNext
    118. No. 073: Van de Ven: unacceptable

      No. 07319 September 2026

      Van de Ven: unacceptable

      Said it on camera. The table had already whispered it.

      Close No. 073
      No. 073: Van de Ven: unacceptable
      19 September 2026

      Said it on camera. The table had already whispered it.

      Van de Ven: unacceptable

      Van de Ven calls it unacceptable after Spurs' latest setback. A big word, and he said it on camera.

      PreviousNext
    119. No. 072: Villa win at Tottenham

      No. 07219 September 2026

      Villa win at Tottenham

      Two points, and they hosted the other lot's first win. Hospitality.

      Close No. 072
      No. 072: Villa win at Tottenham
      19 September 2026

      Two points, and they hosted the other lot's first win. Hospitality.

      Villa win at Tottenham

      Aston Villa take their first Premier League win of the season, away at Tottenham. Spurs sit on 2 points.

      PreviousNext
    120. No. 071: Raphinha tied to 2030

      No. 07119 September 2026

      Raphinha tied to 2030

      Leeds get the repeats. Barcelona get the years. Awkward split.

      Close No. 071
      No. 071: Raphinha tied to 2030
      19 September 2026

      Leeds get the repeats. Barcelona get the years. Awkward split.

      Raphinha tied to 2030

      Barcelona agree a new Raphinha deal through June 2030. The winger Leeds let go, tied down for four more years.

      PreviousNext
    121. No. 070: Brighton 3-0 Arsenal

      No. 07019 September 2026

      Brighton 3-0 Arsenal

      The perfect start met that ground. Only one of them left intact.

      Close No. 070
      No. 070: Brighton 3-0 Arsenal
      19 September 2026

      The perfect start met that ground. Only one of them left intact.

      Brighton 3-0 Arsenal

      Brighton thrash Arsenal 3-0 and the Gunners' first league defeat of the season arrives. Andrés, Groß, Kostoulas. The unbeaten start is over.

      PreviousNext
    122. No. 069: The tweet that aged badly

      No. 06918 September 2026

      The tweet that aged badly

      A 2021 tweet, back for a lap it did not earn.

      Close No. 069
      No. 069: The tweet that aged badly
      18 September 2026

      A 2021 tweet, back for a lap it did not earn.

      The tweet that aged badly

      A 2021 tweet saying Carrick was better than Arteta resurfaces as Arsenal soar. Aged like milk.

      PreviousNext
    123. No. 068: Isak embraces Liverpool

      No. 06818 September 2026

      Isak embraces Liverpool

      A huge fee, and he already knows where they keep the kettle.

      Close No. 068
      No. 068: Isak embraces Liverpool
      18 September 2026

      A huge fee, and he already knows where they keep the kettle.

      Isak embraces Liverpool

      £125m from Newcastle, and Isak embraces the Liverpool move and the Iraola era. He looks settled already.

      PreviousNext
    124. No. 067: Madrid linked with Branthwaite

      No. 06718 September 2026

      Madrid linked with Branthwaite

      A fortune of interest, and a contract that runs to 2030. Sit down.

      Close No. 067
      No. 067: Madrid linked with Branthwaite
      18 September 2026

      A fortune of interest, and a contract that runs to 2030. Sit down.

      Madrid linked with Branthwaite

      Real Madrid linked with Everton's Jarrad Branthwaite at £80m. Interest only, and he is under contract to 2030.

      PreviousNext
    125. No. 066: Liverpool eye Lee Dykes

      No. 06618 September 2026

      Liverpool eye Lee Dykes

      One's off to Al-Hilal. Liverpool are already in someone else's contacts.

      Close No. 066
      No. 066: Liverpool eye Lee Dykes
      18 September 2026

      One's off to Al-Hilal. Liverpool are already in someone else's contacts.

      Liverpool eye Lee Dykes

      Hughes is off to Al-Hilal, so Liverpool look at Brentford's Lee Dykes for sporting director. Dykes or Ward, by the sound of it.

      PreviousNext
    126. No. 065: O'Neill snaps

      No. 06518 September 2026

      O'Neill snaps

      Two defeats and a sharp word, and the lead stayed in the building.

      Close No. 065
      No. 065: O'Neill snaps
      18 September 2026

      Two defeats and a sharp word, and the lead stayed in the building.

      O'Neill snaps

      Celtic lose 3-0 to Rangers in the cup and 3-1 to Ferencváros in Europe, and O'Neill snaps at a reporter. They're still top, and his eyes are on the Old Firm.

      PreviousNext
    127. No. 064: Two in, two out at Celtic

      No. 06418 September 2026

      Two in, two out at Celtic

      New directors on, old ones off. The board does a double switch.

      Close No. 064
      No. 064: Two in, two out at Celtic
      18 September 2026

      New directors on, old ones off. The board does a double switch.

      Two in, two out at Celtic

      Celtic appoint Mark Keane and Raymond Buchanan to the board. Two in, two out, with Lawwell and Allison the ones leaving.

      PreviousNext
    128. No. 063: Raphinha, Barça for life

      No. 06318 September 2026

      Raphinha, Barça for life

      Through to retirement. That's a mortgage with boots on.

      Close No. 063
      No. 063: Raphinha, Barça for life
      18 September 2026

      Through to retirement. That's a mortgage with boots on.

      Raphinha, Barça for life

      Raphinha plans a new Barcelona contract to take him to retirement. The contract that never ends.

      PreviousNext
    129. No. 062: Yamal, Mbappé and a golden ball

      No. 06218 September 2026

      Yamal, Mbappé and a golden ball

      One golden ball, two campaigns. September is doing the talking.

      Close No. 062
      No. 062: Yamal, Mbappé and a golden ball
      18 September 2026

      One golden ball, two campaigns. September is doing the talking.

      Yamal, Mbappé and a golden ball

      Yamal talks up the Mbappé rivalry and his Ballon d'Or claim. Two contenders, one golden ball.

      PreviousNext
    130. No. 061: Ronaldo in Jesus's first squad

      No. 06118 September 2026

      Ronaldo in Jesus's first squad

      First squad sheet, and one name was already in pen.

      Close No. 061
      No. 061: Ronaldo in Jesus's first squad
      18 September 2026

      First squad sheet, and one name was already in pen.

      Ronaldo in Jesus's first squad

      Cristiano Ronaldo is called up in Jorge Jesus's first Portugal squad. Some names never come off the sheet.

      PreviousNext
    131. No. 060: Arteta will sign on

      No. 06018 September 2026

      Arteta will sign on

      He'll sign. The unsigned-deal play can take its bow.

      Close No. 060
      No. 060: Arteta will sign on
      18 September 2026

      He'll sign. The unsigned-deal play can take its bow.

      Arteta will sign on

      Arteta confirms he will sign a new Arsenal contract. The waiting game over an unsigned deal is nearly done.

      PreviousNext
    132. No. 059: Brown gives Rangers the edge

      No. 05917 September 2026

      Brown gives Rangers the edge

      Said out loud, near Parkhead. The walls in Glasgow take notes.

      Close No. 059
      No. 059: Brown gives Rangers the edge
      17 September 2026

      Said out loud, near Parkhead. The walls in Glasgow take notes.

      Brown gives Rangers the edge

      Scott Brown says Rangers hold the advantage going into the Old Firm at Parkhead. Somebody at Parkhead will have heard that.

      PreviousNext
    133. No. 058: Celtic's week in between

      No. 05817 September 2026

      Celtic's week in between

      Ferencváros, parked between the only fixture that matters twice.

      Close No. 058
      No. 058: Celtic's week in between
      17 September 2026

      Ferencváros, parked between the only fixture that matters twice.

      Celtic's week in between

      Celtic face Ferencváros, wedged between two Old Firm clashes. No soft weeks in that diary.

      PreviousNext
    134. No. 057: Ballard, penalty debate twice

      No. 05717 September 2026

      Ballard, penalty debate twice

      Same argument, new opponent. The penalty spot knows his name.

      Close No. 057
      No. 057: Ballard, penalty debate twice
      17 September 2026

      Same argument, new opponent. The penalty spot knows his name.

      Ballard, penalty debate twice

      Dan Ballard in a penalty debate against Arsenal, then again against AZ. Back-to-back, same argument.

      PreviousNext
    135. No. 056: 7-2 starts an argument

      No. 05617 September 2026

      7-2 starts an argument

      Seven goals, and the best-league speech took the night off.

      Close No. 056
      No. 056: 7-2 starts an argument
      17 September 2026

      Seven goals, and the best-league speech took the night off.

      7-2 starts an argument

      Barcelona 7-2 Newcastle, and the La Liga versus Premier League debate is off again. Seven goals make a loud point.

      PreviousNext
    136. No. 055: Alonso rates João Pedro

      No. 05517 September 2026

      Alonso rates João Pedro

      Those two, for comparison. The expectation brought its own suitcase.

      Close No. 055
      No. 055: Alonso rates João Pedro
      17 September 2026

      Those two, for comparison. The expectation brought its own suitcase.

      Alonso rates João Pedro

      Xabi Alonso compares João Pedro to Benzema and Haaland. No pressure on the lad, then.

      PreviousNext
    137. No. 054: A prediction, mocked

      No. 05417 September 2026

      A prediction, mocked

      Bold at the time. Screenshotted by everyone else since.

      Close No. 054
      No. 054: A prediction, mocked
      17 September 2026

      Bold at the time. Screenshotted by everyone else since.

      A prediction, mocked

      A Manchester United fan made a bold prediction. After a poor start, it is being mocked.

      PreviousNext
    138. No. 053: Sunderland back in Europe

      No. 05317 September 2026

      Sunderland back in Europe

      Half a century in the queue, then twelve yards. Typical.

      Close No. 053
      No. 053: Sunderland back in Europe
      17 September 2026

      Half a century in the queue, then twelve yards. Typical.

      Sunderland back in Europe

      Sunderland win 1-0 on their Europa return after 53 years. Le Fée from the spot. Worth every one of those years.

      PreviousNext
    139. No. 052: Arsenal's Brighton test

      No. 05217 September 2026

      Arsenal's Brighton test

      Perfect so far. The next guests did not get the soft-welcome note.

      Close No. 052
      No. 052: Arsenal's Brighton test
      17 September 2026

      Perfect so far. The next guests did not get the soft-welcome note.

      Arsenal's Brighton test

      A perfect start for the champions, and now Brighton. The title defence gets its first real test.

      PreviousNext
    140. No. 051: Barcelona run riot

      No. 05117 September 2026

      Barcelona run riot

      Seven-two. Someone should check the other lot got the memo.

      Close No. 051
      No. 051: Barcelona run riot
      17 September 2026

      Seven-two. Someone should check the other lot got the memo.

      Barcelona run riot

      Barcelona 7-2. Raphinha with a hat-trick, Yamal in the thick of it. Some nights just run away from you.

      PreviousNext
    141. No. 050: A 16-day break

      No. 05017 September 2026

      A 16-day break

      Sixteen days off. Half cheered. Half forgot what Saturday is for.

      Close No. 050
      No. 050: A 16-day break
      17 September 2026

      Sixteen days off. Half cheered. Half forgot what Saturday is for.

      A 16-day break

      The Premier League stops for 16 days. Some fans are relieved, some are lost. Mixed reviews all round.

      PreviousNext
    142. No. 049: Moore picks Köln

      No. 04916 September 2026

      Moore picks Köln

      Left the big cheque and took the loan. The accountant needs a seat.

      Close No. 049
      No. 049: Moore picks Köln
      16 September 2026

      Left the big cheque and took the loan. The accountant needs a seat.

      Moore picks Köln

      Mikey Moore turns down a £25.7m Premier League transfer and takes a loan at FC Köln instead. Brave or daft, time will tell.

      PreviousNext
    143. No. 048: Match round 3

      No. 04816 September 2026

      Match round 3

      A panel, a replay, and every fan in the land already knew the answer.

      Close No. 048
      No. 048: Match round 3
      16 September 2026

      A panel, a replay, and every fan in the land already knew the answer.

      Match round 3

      The Premier League's KMI Panel reviews match round 3. The refereeing gets its homework marked.

      PreviousNext
    144. No. 047: Bale backs the Spurs manager

      No. 04716 September 2026

      Bale backs the Spurs manager

      Everybody, he said. Everybody should meet the group chat.

      Close No. 047
      No. 047: Bale backs the Spurs manager
      16 September 2026

      Everybody, he said. Everybody should meet the group chat.

      Bale backs the Spurs manager

      Gareth Bale says the Spurs manager still has the trust of everybody. Everybody is a big word.

      PreviousNext
    145. No. 046: Madrid lead race for Gabriel

      No. 04616 September 2026

      Madrid lead race for Gabriel

      Madrid at the front of a queue others only notice from behind.

      Close No. 046
      No. 046: Madrid lead race for Gabriel
      16 September 2026

      Madrid at the front of a queue others only notice from behind.

      Madrid lead race for Gabriel

      Real Madrid lead the race for 15-year-old JJ Gabriel, and United fans are dismayed. Fifteen, and already the one that got away.

      PreviousNext
    146. No. 045: Henderson signs at Palace

      No. 04516 September 2026

      Henderson signs at Palace

      Signed on again. The rumour mill can bother someone else.

      Close No. 045
      No. 045: Henderson signs at Palace
      16 September 2026

      Signed on again. The rumour mill can bother someone else.

      Henderson signs at Palace

      Dean Henderson signs a new Crystal Palace contract. Staying put, on paper at least.

      PreviousNext
    147. No. 044: Arsenal, perfect in seven

      No. 04416 September 2026

      Arsenal, perfect in seven

      Seven from seven. Somebody will still call it boring.

      Close No. 044
      No. 044: Arsenal, perfect in seven
      16 September 2026

      Seven from seven. Somebody will still call it boring.

      Arsenal, perfect in seven

      Arsenal, perfect in seven, with a Max Dowman brace against Ipswich. Seven from seven, however you count it.

      PreviousNext
    148. No. 043: Leicester's administration rumours

      No. 04316 September 2026

      Leicester's administration rumours

      Whispers of administration, then a spreadsheet. Romance is off the ball.

      Close No. 043
      No. 043: Leicester's administration rumours
      16 September 2026

      Whispers of administration, then a spreadsheet. Romance is off the ball.

      Leicester's administration rumours

      Administration rumours at Leicester, and King Power reply with debt-to-equity. The numbers do the talking now.

      PreviousNext
    149. No. 042: United fans split

      No. 04216 September 2026

      United fans split

      Half the support fancy a cup exit. That's a committee.

      Close No. 042
      No. 042: United fans split
      16 September 2026

      Half the support fancy a cup exit. That's a committee.

      United fans split

      Some Manchester United fans are hoping for a Carabao Cup loss to Brighton. Others are not. That is where they are.

      PreviousNext
    150. No. 041: Pressure on De Zerbi

      No. 04116 September 2026

      Pressure on De Zerbi

      Still no league win, and the pressure has bought a season ticket.

      Close No. 041
      No. 041: Pressure on De Zerbi
      16 September 2026

      Still no league win, and the pressure has bought a season ticket.

      Pressure on De Zerbi

      Spurs still without a win, now beaten in the cup at Anfield. The pressure is on De Zerbi and it is not going away.

      PreviousNext
    151. No. 040: Liverpool 3-1 Tottenham

      No. 04016 September 2026

      Liverpool 3-1 Tottenham

      A cup night at Anfield. One club left with the road home.

      Close No. 040
      No. 040: Liverpool 3-1 Tottenham
      16 September 2026

      A cup night at Anfield. One club left with the road home.

      Liverpool 3-1 Tottenham

      Liverpool beat Tottenham 3-1 in the Carabao Cup. A Kerkez penalty and a Marmoush flashpoint, and Spurs go home with the usual.

      PreviousNext
    152. No. 039: Alan Burrows steps down

      No. 03915 September 2026

      Alan Burrows steps down

      Leaves with a cup, not a statement. That's the right order.

      Close No. 039
      No. 039: Alan Burrows steps down
      15 September 2026

      Leaves with a cup, not a statement. That's the right order.

      Alan Burrows steps down

      Aberdeen chief executive Alan Burrows steps down after a cup-winning tenure. He leaves with silverware on the record.

      PreviousNext
    153. No. 038: Xhaka not surprised

      No. 03815 September 2026

      Xhaka not surprised

      No surprise, he says. Hindsight has a lovely view from there.

      Close No. 038
      No. 038: Xhaka not surprised
      15 September 2026

      No surprise, he says. Hindsight has a lovely view from there.

      Xhaka not surprised

      Xhaka says it is no surprise Arsenal are champions. Easy to say from where he is standing.

      PreviousNext
    154. No. 037: Bothroyd takes on Gallagher

      No. 03715 September 2026

      Bothroyd takes on Gallagher

      Pundit versus pundit. The sofa has opened a public inquiry.

      Close No. 037
      No. 037: Bothroyd takes on Gallagher
      15 September 2026

      Pundit versus pundit. The sofa has opened a public inquiry.

      Bothroyd takes on Gallagher

      Bothroyd goes after Gallagher over the Manchester derby VAR and the Pro Ref error. Pundit against pundit, nobody backing down.

      PreviousNext
    155. No. 036: Best league, says who?

      No. 03615 September 2026

      Best league, says who?

      New shortlist, same speech. The league cleared its throat on cue.

      Close No. 036
      No. 036: Best league, says who?
      15 September 2026

      New shortlist, same speech. The league cleared its throat on cue.

      Best league, says who?

      The Ballon d'Or shortlist lands and the Premier League's best league claim is back in the ring. Same old fight, new list.

      PreviousNext
    156. No. 035: A Leicester-style fluke?

      No. 03515 September 2026

      A Leicester-style fluke?

      Fluke, they say. Jealousy just changes its postcode.

      Close No. 035
      No. 035: A Leicester-style fluke?
      15 September 2026

      Fluke, they say. Jealousy just changes its postcode.

      A Leicester-style fluke?

      Rival fans are calling the Arsenal title a Leicester-style fluke. Jealousy travels well, and it travels in numbers.

      PreviousNext
    157. No. 034: Coventry still goalless

      No. 03415 September 2026

      Coventry still goalless

      Four games, and the net is starting to feel left out.

      Close No. 034
      No. 034: Coventry still goalless
      15 September 2026

      Four games, and the net is starting to feel left out.

      Coventry still goalless

      Four games, no goals for Coventry. Cue the Lampard 0-0-7 joke. It writes itself, unlike the goals.

      PreviousNext
    158. No. 033: Leeds thrash Newcastle

      No. 03315 September 2026

      Leeds thrash Newcastle

      Four at Elland Road, and the form book asked for a recount.

      Close No. 033
      No. 033: Leeds thrash Newcastle
      15 September 2026

      Four at Elland Road, and the form book asked for a recount.

      Leeds thrash Newcastle

      Leeds 4-1 Newcastle at Elland Road, and Farke's side go third. Nobody saw that one in the preview.

      PreviousNext
    159. No. 032: Haaland wins the derby

      No. 03215 September 2026

      Haaland wins the derby

      A man down at their place, and the home end still got the bill.

      Close No. 032
      No. 032: Haaland wins the derby
      15 September 2026

      A man down at their place, and the home end still got the bill.

      Haaland wins the derby

      Haaland scores the derby winner at Old Trafford. City 1-0 United, despite the Foden red. The home end had nothing.

      PreviousNext
    160. No. 031: Arteta's referee fury

      No. 03115 September 2026

      Arteta's referee fury

      Two-nil, then a row with the referee. Some wins need a villain.

      Close No. 031
      No. 031: Arteta's referee fury
      15 September 2026

      Two-nil, then a row with the referee. Some wins need a villain.

      Arteta's referee fury

      Arteta turns his fury on the referee after the 2-0 against Sunderland. Some managers never switch off.

      PreviousNext
    161. No. 030: Arsenal top, Leeds and Hull climbing

      No. 03015 September 2026

      Arsenal top, Leeds and Hull climbing

      Hull in the top four. Laminate nothing. October is coming.

      Close No. 030
      No. 030: Arsenal top, Leeds and Hull climbing
      15 September 2026

      Hull in the top four. Laminate nothing. October is coming.

      Arsenal top, Leeds and Hull climbing

      Arsenal top after four perfect wins. Leeds and Hull sit in the top four. Early days, strange table, enjoy it.

      PreviousNext
    162. No. 029: Courtois on Alonso's Chelsea start

      No. 02914 September 2026

      Courtois on Alonso's Chelsea start

      A goalkeeper reviewing a manager. It usually goes the other way.

      Close No. 029
      No. 029: Courtois on Alonso's Chelsea start
      14 September 2026

      A goalkeeper reviewing a manager. It usually goes the other way.

      Courtois on Alonso's Chelsea start

      Courtois weighs in on Xabi Alonso's start at Chelsea. Everyone has a view on that one.

      PreviousNext
    163. No. 028: Agbonlahor lets rip

      No. 02814 September 2026

      Agbonlahor lets rip

      A red card, a winner, and a pundit who did not come to soothe.

      Close No. 028
      No. 028: Agbonlahor lets rip
      14 September 2026

      A red card, a winner, and a pundit who did not come to soothe.

      Agbonlahor lets rip

      Agbonlahor's derby verdict takes in Fernandes, the Foden red and Haaland as karma. He didn't hold back.

      PreviousNext
    164. No. 027: Two wins in twenty

      No. 02714 September 2026

      Two wins in twenty

      Two from twenty, at home. The living room has a better record.

      Close No. 027
      No. 027: Two wins in twenty
      14 September 2026

      Two from twenty, at home. The living room has a better record.

      Two wins in twenty

      Tottenham have two wins in their last 20 Premier League home games. Twenty. At home.

      PreviousNext
    165. No. 026: Bothroyd on the apology

      No. 02614 September 2026

      Bothroyd on the apology

      An apology for a goal. The scoreboard did not open the letter.

      Close No. 026
      No. 026: Bothroyd on the apology
      14 September 2026

      An apology for a goal. The scoreboard did not open the letter.

      Bothroyd on the apology

      Bothroyd reckons Carrick won't care about the Haaland goal apology. Sorry does not change the scoreline.

      PreviousNext
    166. No. 025: Haaland, another record

      No. 02514 September 2026

      Haaland, another record

      Another record, a man short. The derby can complain later.

      Close No. 025
      No. 025: Haaland, another record
      14 September 2026

      Another record, a man short. The derby can complain later.

      Haaland, another record

      Haaland sets another record as ten-man City win 1-0 at United. The derby goes his way again.

      PreviousNext
    167. No. 024: Edu lands at Levski Sofia

      No. 02414 September 2026

      Edu lands at Levski Sofia

      Forest to Sofia. The satnav resigned over the Channel.

      Close No. 024
      No. 024: Edu lands at Levski Sofia
      14 September 2026

      Forest to Sofia. The satnav resigned over the Channel.

      Edu lands at Levski Sofia

      Edu leaves Forest and joins Levski Sofia. Football careers take some roads, and that is one of them.

      PreviousNext
    168. No. 023: Derby officials stood down

      No. 02314 September 2026

      Derby officials stood down

      Stood down till the break. Even the headset gets a holiday.

      Close No. 023
      No. 023: Derby officials stood down
      14 September 2026

      Stood down till the break. Even the headset gets a holiday.

      Derby officials stood down

      The VAR and AVAR from the Manchester derby are stood down until after the international break. Quiet word, long break.

      PreviousNext
    169. No. 022: Arsenal take it upstairs

      No. 02214 September 2026

      Arsenal take it upstairs

      Won the match, then put the referee on the agenda. Efficient.

      Close No. 022
      No. 022: Arsenal take it upstairs
      14 September 2026

      Won the match, then put the referee on the agenda. Efficient.

      Arsenal take it upstairs

      Arsenal go into talks with Pro Ref over the Sunderland penalty. If you can't let it go, book a meeting.

      PreviousNext
    170. No. 021: Mourinho says nothing

      No. 02114 September 2026

      Mourinho says nothing

      Mourinho, quiet. Frame the date. The printers are confused.

      Close No. 021
      No. 021: Mourinho says nothing
      14 September 2026

      Mourinho, quiet. Frame the date. The printers are confused.

      Mourinho says nothing

      Mourinho offers no comment on Yamal's Ballon d'Or claim. For once, silence is the headline.

      PreviousNext
    171. No. 020: Richarlison frozen out

      No. 02014 September 2026

      Richarlison frozen out

      The cup side is where you hide someone. This cupboard has no door.

      Close No. 020
      No. 020: Richarlison frozen out
      14 September 2026

      The cup side is where you hide someone. This cupboard has no door.

      Richarlison frozen out

      De Zerbi says Richarlison will not play. Not even in the Carabao Cup. That is a door shut, not left ajar.

      PreviousNext
    172. No. 019: Death by 1000 passes

      No. 01913 September 2026

      Death by 1000 passes

      Called it boring, then watched every pass. The remote was right there.

      Close No. 019
      No. 019: Death by 1000 passes
      13 September 2026

      Called it boring, then watched every pass. The remote was right there.

      Death by 1000 passes

      Premier League fans call it boring and soulless. Death by 1000 passes, and they are still watching.

      PreviousNext
    173. No. 018: Brighton top the scoring

      No. 01813 September 2026

      Brighton top the scoring

      Top of the goals chart, and the usual names can form a queue.

      Close No. 018
      No. 018: Brighton top the scoring
      13 September 2026

      Top of the goals chart, and the usual names can form a queue.

      Brighton top the scoring

      Brighton lead the Premier League on goals with 13. Chelsea on 10, Arsenal on 8. Read that twice.

      PreviousNext
    174. No. 017: Preston sack Heckingbottom

      No. 01713 September 2026

      Preston sack Heckingbottom

      The P45 beat the full-time pies.

      Close No. 017
      No. 017: Preston sack Heckingbottom
      13 September 2026

      The P45 beat the full-time pies.

      Preston sack Heckingbottom

      Preston sack Heckingbottom at Saturday teatime. Nobody waited for Monday.

      PreviousNext
    175. No. 016: The Stretford End speaks

      No. 01613 September 2026

      The Stretford End speaks

      Written in capitals. Upstairs still asked for a translation.

      Close No. 016
      No. 016: The Stretford End speaks
      13 September 2026

      Written in capitals. Upstairs still asked for a translation.

      The Stretford End speaks

      The Stretford End put it on a banner, in capitals: THE WAY YOU TREAT US IS A DISGRACE. Hard to misread.

      PreviousNext
    176. No. 015: Arteta calls it unacceptable

      No. 01513 September 2026

      Arteta calls it unacceptable

      Raya saved it. The press conference did not.

      Close No. 015
      No. 015: Arteta calls it unacceptable
      13 September 2026

      Raya saved it. The press conference did not.

      Arteta calls it unacceptable

      Arsenal win 2-0 and Arteta still calls the Sunderland penalty unacceptable. Raya saved it. The grievance survived anyway.

      PreviousNext
    177. No. 014: Dunk's screamer sinks Coventry

      No. 01413 September 2026

      Dunk's screamer sinks Coventry

      A screamer, and the welcome home lasted about as long.

      Close No. 014
      No. 014: Dunk's screamer sinks Coventry
      13 September 2026

      A screamer, and the welcome home lasted about as long.

      Dunk's screamer sinks Coventry

      Dunk hits a screamer and Brighton get past Coventry. A nightmare return, and nobody is pretending otherwise.

      PreviousNext
    178. No. 013: Yamal and Raphinha, 19 in six

      No. 01313 September 2026

      Yamal and Raphinha, 19 in six

      Six games, and the rest of the attack can take a number.

      Close No. 013
      No. 013: Yamal and Raphinha, 19 in six
      13 September 2026

      Six games, and the rest of the attack can take a number.

      Yamal and Raphinha, 19 in six

      Yamal and Raphinha, 19 goals and assists between them in six. Yamal adds a brace against Levante for good measure.

      PreviousNext
    179. No. 012: Mendy retires from Senegal duty

      No. 01213 September 2026

      Mendy retires from Senegal duty

      Senegal get their evenings back. The saves do not retire.

      Close No. 012
      No. 012: Mendy retires from Senegal duty
      13 September 2026

      Senegal get their evenings back. The saves do not retire.

      Mendy retires from Senegal duty

      Mendy retires from international football with Senegal. That chapter is closed.

      PreviousNext
    180. No. 011: Foden sees straight red

      No. 01113 September 2026

      Foden sees straight red

      Ten years of derby manners, spent in one afternoon.

      Close No. 011
      No. 011: Foden sees straight red
      13 September 2026

      Ten years of derby manners, spent in one afternoon.

      Foden sees straight red

      Foden, Fernandes and a straight red. The first red card in a Manchester derby in about ten years. Worth the wait, apparently.

      PreviousNext
    181. No. 010: Rangers 3-0 Celtic at Ibrox

      No. 01013 September 2026

      Rangers 3-0 Celtic at Ibrox

      Neil decided one was stingy. Ibrox agreed before the pies.

      Close No. 010
      No. 010: Rangers 3-0 Celtic at Ibrox
      13 September 2026

      Neil decided one was stingy. Ibrox agreed before the pies.

      Rangers 3-0 Celtic at Ibrox

      Rangers 3-0 Celtic at Ibrox in the cup quarter-final, and Neil scores twice. Some days write themselves.

      PreviousNext
    182. No. 009: Lalas at the far post

      No. 0096 September 2026

      Lalas at the far post

      Four minutes, far post. The marking took the scenic route.

      Close No. 009
      No. 009: Lalas at the far post
      6 September 2026

      Four minutes, far post. The marking took the scenic route.

      Lalas at the far post

      Lalas, four minutes on, at the far post. USA 2 England 0, Foxboro, 1993. Yanks 2 Planks 0.

      PreviousNext
    183. No. 008: Dooley ends the drought

      No. 0086 September 2026

      Dooley ends the drought

      A drought that long, ended by a name left out of the brochure.

      Close No. 008
      No. 008: Dooley ends the drought
      6 September 2026

      A drought that long, ended by a name left out of the brochure.

      Dooley ends the drought

      USA 1 England 0 at Foxboro in 1993. Dooley scores, and a 388-minute drought ends.

      PreviousNext
    184. No. 007: Yanks 2 Planks 0

      No. 0076 September 2026

      Yanks 2 Planks 0

      Foxboro kept the scoreboard. England kept the prediction. Only one aged well.

      Close No. 007
      No. 007: Yanks 2 Planks 0
      6 September 2026

      Foxboro kept the scoreboard. England kept the prediction. Only one aged well.

      Yanks 2 Planks 0

      Foxboro, 1993. England were expected to beat America. Yanks 2 Planks 0.

      PreviousNext
    185. No. 006: Heaviest since 1878

      No. 0066 September 2026

      Heaviest since 1878

      1878 was minding its own business. England went and knocked.

      Close No. 006
      No. 006: Heaviest since 1878
      6 September 2026

      1878 was minding its own business. England went and knocked.

      Heaviest since 1878

      They came for a week and left with 7-1. England's heaviest defeat since 1878.

      PreviousNext
    186. No. 005: Hungary 7 England 1

      No. 0056 September 2026

      Hungary 7 England 1

      Seven, then they remembered to add England's one.

      Close No. 005
      No. 005: Hungary 7 England 1
      6 September 2026

      Seven, then they remembered to add England's one.

      Hungary 7 England 1

      Hungary 7 England 1 at the Népstadion, Budapest, 1954. Ask Merrick.

      PreviousNext
    187. No. 004: They came for a week

      No. 0046 September 2026

      They came for a week

      Budapest, 1954. The itinerary said a week. History had other paperwork.

      Close No. 004
      No. 004: They came for a week
      6 September 2026

      Budapest, 1954. The itinerary said a week. History had other paperwork.

      They came for a week

      Ferihegy, Budapest, 1954. England land. They came for a week.

      PreviousNext
    188. No. 003: Ricardo, gloves off

      No. 0036 September 2026

      Ricardo, gloves off

      Gloves off, six-five. England discovered penalties are also a sport.

      Close No. 003
      No. 003: Ricardo, gloves off
      6 September 2026

      Gloves off, six-five. England discovered penalties are also a sport.

      Ricardo, gloves off

      Ricardo takes his gloves off and Portugal win 6-5 on penalties at the Estádio da Luz. A sandy spot, and England go home.

      PreviousNext
    189. No. 002: Campbell waved off

      No. 0026 September 2026

      Campbell waved off

      Meier blew full time. England opened a second leg in the car park.

      Close No. 002
      No. 002: Campbell waved off
      6 September 2026

      Meier blew full time. England opened a second leg in the car park.

      Campbell waved off

      Portugal 2 England 2 in the Euro 2004 quarter-final at the Estádio da Luz. Campbell waved off, Meier with the whistle. England are still arguing.

      PreviousNext
    190. No. 001: Metatarsal night at the Luz

      No. 0016 September 2026

      Metatarsal night at the Luz

      A quarter-final, filed under national tragedy. Portugal just played the match.

      Close No. 001
      No. 001: Metatarsal night at the Luz
      6 September 2026

      A quarter-final, filed under national tragedy. Portugal just played the match.

      Metatarsal night at the Luz

      Estádio da Luz, Euro 2004. England against Portugal, and the metatarsal night. You know how this one goes.

      Previous

    We don't need to win it. We just need them not to.

    Anyone But England. For the Tartan Army and everyone else who isn't England.

    Jim gallery Shop (coming soon) Contact PrivacySearch

    Fan-made banter. Not affiliated with, or endorsed by, any football association, club or player.

    © 2026 Anyone But England

    Your cart is empty

    Have an account? Log in to check out faster.

    Continue shopping

    Search

    Products

    • Hand of God
      Hand of God tee front with sleeve marks Left sleeve ABE detail

      Hand of God

      £26.00